At about the age of 2 Jack was very different to his brother, we saw lots of meltdowns and quite a bit of coercive behaviour from him. I was already feeling very frustrated and anxious because I could tell his behaviour was something over and above what I might have expected.
Over the years he became very anxious about problems in life and he could see he was very different from some of his friends. He wasn’t grasping the same concepts in the same way that his friends were, and although he was very outgoing and sociable, he became the class clown at school. He wasn’t as focused as the other students, but was still super dedicated, absolutely wanting to get everything right but struggled to know how he could do that.
The challenging behaviour got significantly worse and more difficult with additional challenges that life threw at us. We were at the point where we were really struggling not knowing where to go and what to do about it. He was very oppositional, it didn’t matter whether something was right or not, he had to be in control of everything that happened in his life, to him, with him, for him and he really struggled with that. We saw a lot of frequent meltdowns and he would get home from school and would be absolutely shattered from masking.
I felt at a complete loss, as to where to go, who to turn to or what to do. I had already formed some thoughts in my own mind from working as a Teacher, so I could see there were differences and where they lay for Jack. I felt despite practicing lots of therapeutic parenting techniques with him it still wasn’t making enough of a difference to soothe him and calm him. Jack was trying to put labels on himself as well but was floundering. I would often end up in tears, just not knowing who to go to for help but knowing he had so much potential.
We had been to some therapy and it was definitely helpful, however it wasn’t providing us with any of the answers and it wasn’t helping Jack to develop his sense of identity and understand who he was within all of those difficulties and challenges. He didn’t feel he could celebrate the positives about himself.
When I found out about bibic it felt like the answers to all my prayers and that it would give me the opportunity to explore what was going on. From the moment Jack stepped foot in the door at bibic, he felt understood, he felt heard, recognised and he felt celebrated, which was so important to him. I’m so grateful we found bibic, it’s made such a difference. Jack was heavily invested in the assessment – I wondered how he would cope, but he did incredibly well. bibic’s support has given him the confidence to be himself and know that it is okay to have a few differences. It’s allowed him the opportunity to celebrate the things he is good at.
Before bibic’s support Jack was at risk of his school not being able to accommodate his needs due to his challenging behaviour however after visiting bibic, he was chosen to be deputy head boy which shows what a difference bibic’s support has made, it’s huge, I couldn’t be more grateful. I honestly feel like the weight of the world has lifted from my shoulders and I can now just breathe and relax and know the outcome is going to be okay.
The most rewarding part of being Jack’s Mum is seeing him grow, there was a point where I didn’t feel he was going to have the motivation to do that for himself, and it was going to be a constant struggle to just give him the space to grow.
bibic’s support has meant so much to us. Thank you.